In Today’s Feckwittery, the role of Billy the Smart Car shall be played by…

You have to respect some people. Some, mainly because they’d beat you up if you didn’t; others because their upbringing and experiences put yours in the shade.

There was a girl I used to know when I was growing up who used to be in the top of her class at everything. Smart, witty and everything you’d ever need in a woman. But, my god, did it start to go downhill. I found out that she ended up suffering from a brain tumor. She coped with going temporarily blind, an incestuous relationship, a brief modelling career, and an addiction to drugs, alcohol and spending. Blimey. Puts my rantings at people in the work lifts into perspective…

Lucy Robinson (yes, of Neighbours fame) was played by three different actresses and each one developed the character in a different way. Mainly backwards in some cases, but there’s nothing to say you can’t become a blonde bimbo overnight and change back in time for Newsnight. I’ve certainly known many people do it enough times in Soho on a Saturday night. Sometimes in the middle of the bar. To music.

I’m digressing here.

No matter how close you’ve followed a person, a change of actor – or a change of face – suddenly jars you into rethinking a person’s character. Their relations with other people. The way they look. The way they dress. But soon it becomes almost natural, and you accept them for the person they are – or at least who they’re supposed to be. Lucy’s not the only person to have changed their face without explanation. There have been four Tracey Barlows, two Sam Mitchells, and three Nick Tilsleys (ah, Adam Rickett..). When all of a sudden Pippa walked into Summer Bay as a redhead, cans of Fanta were dropped all over Britain but no one on the beach batted an eyelid.

A few weeks ago, I was driving to a BBQ when someone crashed into the back of my car and drove off. I’ve still no idea who he was – the number plate I wrote down was as helpful to the police as a freeview box is to a Tellytubby. But, given my MOT is up this week I’ve had to get it fixed. There’s been a delay, so I popped into the garage today to pick up the courtesy car.

Billy Smart

Poor Billy. It looked like he’d been debagged by the bullies on the first day of Car School. Bits of what will eventually become ‘New Billy’ were lying all over the floor, having been painted and waiting to dry. I wanted to say something like “But the Emporor’s got no clothes on!”

“Hang on a minute.” said the mechanic. “I’ll go get the courtesy car.” It was an older car, but a slightly better model. Glass roof, bigger engine! (This car could time travel. If you get my drift.) But the odd thing about it was the left hand drive.

I’ve never driven left hand drive before. I felt I should be eating a croissant, or doing something continental. It also took a lot of getting used to – like I was in a dodgy mirror universe star trek episode, but one where the enterprise had a dodgy orange and blue trim.

But it forced me to think differently. To act differently. To see the world in a slightly different way. Yes, one where the kerb was alarmingly too close, but more than that. It was a wonderful drive. It recaptured the fun that I’d taken for granted in my old car. It was if Pippa from Home and Away had not only suddenly come into the Summer Bay Kitchen as a redhead, but had taken you all out to the playground to celebrate.

It was a bit battered, and a bit dirty, but you know sometimes the best things in life are just that.

On Monday, I’ll get Billy the Smart Car back. I won’t be able to see through his roof – but then I won’t be able to see through his body panels either, which has to be a plus. He’ll have a new face, and he’ll look better than he ever has before. But more than that, I’ll be proud of him.

Feckwittery was started 2 years ago (four posts in two years, a success then…) as an attempt to recapture childish joy, and I think I got a bit out of that today. I took an established car, and looked at it from a different angle, a different face, a different character. Driving on the other side of the road made me re-evaluate my relationship with my car, the road, and the joy of driving a Smart Car.

Some recasts work, some don’t. As I finish this I seem to be veering towards the conclusion that I was driving around in a new Lucy Robinson today. But that would sound wrong. And slightly dodgy.

I think the closest I can legally come is saying that I’d gotten used to one character for so long that the change of perspective I was given today, in the recast which took something familiar but injected with a new personality and a new face, made me look at the ordinary in an extra-ordinary way.

I need to do that more often.