The Beige Inevitability of Socks
I was on a train coming back from Cambridge today. I’d finished reading my G2. I’d finished reading my Radio Times which I’d only blatently bought because of the front cover. I’d finished making small talk with my boss about the intricacies of current legislation.
There was nothing to do apart from stare at the pasty white old man sitting opposite me and stare into the future.
It got me thinking. Do you think there’s a slippery slope to this Feckwittery lark? Take for example, the last couple of Seasons of Battlestar Galactica. All of a sudden, a switch goes off in your head. BAM – you’re a Cylon. You spend the next few months crying into your jam jar of whiskey. From time to time you’ll try and stick a gun in your mouth but for some unknown reason you’ll miss, and your face will end up looking like a schoolboy’s sadly graised knee. Then, one day, through no fault of your own, you have a sudden urge to shoot your commanding officer twice in the stomach, or throw a woman with PMT out of an airlock.
Actually, I can see definate links here….
But seriously – one day a switch goes off in your head alerting you to the existence of Feckwittery in the world. The man on the train buying a ticket off the guard when you’ve put your book down, ready to wave your gold card camply in the air. The old lady in front of you who gets a re-scan on the lifetime’s supply of Sainsbury’s ‘fast track’ shopping because she tried to subtract a jar of Branston Pickle from her basket.
The next day, if you’re a man, and are fed up drinking whiskey from jam jars, you wake up with a sudden urge to buy beige socks. Women, I expect, have the same kind of thing, but end up rinsing their hair blue. It’s what the cool kids down the bingo hall are doing, you know.
And so I sat on this train coming home and stared into the future. He looked happy enough. I do need more socks – black ones just don’t go with cheap supermarket shorts and white trainers.
And he had more hair than me, so he can’t have been doing that badly.
Today’s Featured Feckwittery
Today’s evidence of Feckwittery in the world:
- “Do you seriously think that, in an office of roughly 2,000 people, a 4 slice Morphy Richards toaster is an appropriate piece of kitchen equipment for your staff restaurant? Do You?????“
